


Xander Isn't Drunk

by averzierlia



Category: Buffy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-05
Updated: 2010-12-05
Packaged: 2017-10-17 17:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/179572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averzierlia/pseuds/averzierlia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this comment!fic was co-written with <span><a href="http://colleeeeeeeeeen.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://colleeeeeeeeeen.livejournal.com/"><b>colleeeeeeeeeen</b></a></span> during the <span><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/whedonland/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/whedonland/"><b>whedonland</b></a></span> holiday bingo game. I wrote about half and she wrote about half. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Xander Isn't Drunk

"Xander?" Willow questions, flipping on the light in her garage.

Xander blinks up at her from across the garage where he's sitting next to Willow's old bikes, the little pink Barbie one from when she was 5, and the bigger pink Barbie one from when she was 12. She'd liked Barbie's, ok?

"I'm not drunk," he repeats, this time to her instead of said bikes. She has no idea why he thinks they can hear him...ok, no, it's not THAT far fetched, considering what they've seen.

"Okay, baby, you're not drunk. Wanna come inside and have some hot chocolate?" she asks, because Xander is so totally drunk, and she's not going to argue with him.

"Yes!" he says, trying to jump up and almost falling over, and he uses the bikes for balance which causes them (and him) to all go down in a tangle. It's so adorable that she almost wishes she has a camera. She smothers a giggle and helps him up.

"Come on sweetie, hot coco inside," she says.

"Yay."

They walk inside and Willow heads toward the kitchen.

"So, what kind of non drinking activities have you been up to tonight, Xander?" She looks over her shoulder and see's Xander trying to give the coat rack a hug hello. Willow grabs his sleeve and pulls him into the living room. "Xander, um, why don't you just sit down and let me get the cocoa?"

"Right, sitting, I can do that." Xander plops down into a big comfy chair and looks at Willow with a self satisfied grin on his face.

"Yeah, good job, now don't move," Willow says with a stern look before heading into the kitchen.

She mixes the coco quickly, not bothering to use the stove, because that would take too long and she isn't sure she can leave Xander alone for that long.

"You never answered my question," she calls across the rooms.

"I've been...um, what was the question again?" he says intelligently.

She giggles, again. Xander is so adorable drunk.

She grabs the finished coco and heads back into the living room. "Here ya go," she says with a smile.

"Oh right, what was I doing. Hm, what was I doing?" Xander stares off into space trying to recall the events of the evening. "Well, I was doing some laundry, and I realized i was out of soap. I only had an old bottle of the kind that smells all fruity and really don't need that. 'Hey, Xander, why do you smell all fruity?'" He deepened his voice and wiggled his eyebrows. "I mean, really? Who wants fruity underwear anyway? You wouldn't want fruit scented underwear, right Wil?"

Willow coughed. "Um, drink your cocoa."

Xander gulps it down then stops with a gasp.

"Hot!" he hands the mug back to Willow.

"Yeah that's why they don't call it only kind of pleasantly warm cocoa."

He gives a sort of betrayed look at the cup Willow is now holding again. Gods, she wishes she had a video camera. This would be so awesome to share with the rest of the Scoobies.

"So, you were doing laundry," she prompts.

"I was? Oh, I was! And then I went to the corner store for some detergent, you know, the one that sells all the cool stuff? And the cute girl behind the counter gave me a free drink with my detergent. It was yummy," he says.

Xander was not only drunk, he'd been gotten drunk by a girl who'd wanted in his pants. This was kind of hilarious.

Ok, that was a lie, it was totally hilarious.

"So when you said 'not drunk' before you meant to say?" Willow teased.

"Hey, that was one drink, and I'm a big strong man. I'm not drunk." Xander crossed one leg over the other, almost falling out of the chair in the process.

"Uh-huh," Willow raised an eyebrow. "So what happened after counter girl tried to get you drunk?"

"Well, after I had my one drink, and was completely unfazed by it, she invited me to a party at this cool club I had never heard of." Xander leaned in closer. "She pretty much asked me on a date. _She_ asked _me_."

"And?" Willow questions, eyebrow going higher.

"...I may have had more drinks," he admits, staring at her whirring ceiling fan. "...You see the blue fireflies too, right?" he asks her.

She checks, because this is Sunnydale. "No, they're not there."

"Oh good," he says, "because they look vicious. Is the hot coco cooled off now?" he asks hopefully.

She hands it back. "What about the girl, Xander?"

He takes a slow sip and looks around shiftily. "...may have been a demon?"

"And what was your second clue?" Willow asks watching him sip the now less dangerous cocoa.

"Second?" Xander gives her a confused look, a chocolate mustache covering his top lip. Willow laughs and hands him a napkin.

"Yeah, interested in you; first clue. What was the second?"

"Hey, I resemble that!" Xander dabs at the corners of his mouth, missing the mustache entirely. "She may have had a ....." Xander mumbles something under his breath.

"A what?" Willow's eyes widened.

"A tail, okay. She maybe had, a little bit of a..." he sighs. "A really long furry tail."

"A really long furry tail," Willow repeats, looking at Xander blankly.

"A cat one," he mumbles.

"Well, we did always say you were demon catnip," she says, too shocked to even laugh or smile. A tail. Gods.

"Shut up," he says, taking another drink of coco and adding another lay to his mustache.

She shakes herself and pats him on the shoulder. "Poor baby, must have been traumatizing."

"You have no idea."

"She took off her dress, and there it was, swinging around like," he starts to make a flopping gesture with his hand.

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Willow cuts him off. "I think you're skipping some vital information here. How did you not notice she was a cat demon before it got that far? Was her tongue scratchy? Oo, did she order a glass of milk?"

"That's on a need to know basis, Wil." Xander crosses his arms. "You know what, I think you're making fun of me. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"I'm sorry," she says, because she is. It's not really Xander's fault that demons find him irresistible.

"Want me to call Buffy and have her beat the cat girl up?" she asks, because Xander might actually be traumatized this time.

"Oo, can you?" he asks, looking at lot more cheerful.

Willow gives him a loving pat on the knee and picks up the phone.

"Hey, Buffy, feel like doing some demon hunting?" Willow asks.

Xander hears a lot of muffled talking on the other end, but he can make out a very excited "Hell yes!"

"She's coming over." Willow hangs up the phone and picks up Xander's empty mug. "More cocoa?"


End file.
